Breakup Bitterness
Hello there Ladies!
I recently met a woman named Rachel who is going through a bit of a romantic tragedy, and she is now on the verge of becoming…bitter. I want to delve into her story because at some point we all must choose, after having our heart broken, to pursue love again or to allow our hearts to become hardened. Now, Rachel’s story…
After being in a tumultuous long-term relationship, in which her boyfriend consistently made her feel sexually undesirable, Rachel was cheated on. Although, he made half-hearted attempts to get her back, Rachel chose to end it. I applaud this brave move to get out of an unhealthy situation, but I am still concerned as Rachel told me, “I won’t be dating again. Ever. I don’t believe in love anymore”. Girl, believe me, I understand that sentiment, but please do not give your ex that much control over your happiness. And Rachel, you create your own happiness. So, if you decide to harden your heart, unfortunately you will never find the elation you deserve. You have every right to be angry right now and it is important that you feel your way through this phase, but make sure it is just a phase. Then, when you are ready, forgive him and release him. Trust me, if you decide to handle this heartache in a healthy and optimistic way, your life will be so much richer. Imagine the great man that can finally come into your life now that you’ve got Mr. Wrong out of the way!
In the meantime, surround yourself with a good support system, avoid the rebound rut, embrace this time of reflection and contemplation, and enjoy some YOU time. Then, as your heart heals, get out there again, go on dates, mingle, and open up your heart to love again. Take comfort in the fact that everyone goes through breakups, everyone questions whether they will ever find love again, but the ones who maintain a hopeful heart will find the happy ending!
September 19th, 2008 at 11:04 am
Look at the relation ship head on and see it for what it was, one sided. True love is unconditional. If some one wants to make you feel less than, usually it is because they are feeling less than themselves in some way.
Know that you are beautiful inside and out and some where out there is Mr. Right. Don’t close your heart but open it to the possibilities that await you. Tred carefully, but tread and know love is awaiting you with open arms.
September 19th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
“a tumultuous long-term relationship, in which her boyfriend consistently made her feel sexually undesirable”
Why did she stay with him long enough for it to become a long-term relationship? “Tumultuous” and “consistently made to feel sexually undesirable” should set off red flags telling you to DUMP THE BASTARD.
September 20th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Wow! I really needed that!
I too just got out of a long relationship that was full of deception and disrespect and I could easily choose hopelessness and lock my optimistic heart away forever.
By releasing and forgiving my Ex, I am clearing a space for the right man to find me. And believing in that fact makes my upcomng journey something great to look forward to.
September 21st, 2008 at 11:43 pm
Ladies,
We are very different from men. We love from our hearts and emotions. Men have been condition early on in life not to be emotional. A man that is too emotional, we find ourselves questioning, “Is he gay? ” It’s been my experience that when a man cheats, it has nothing to do with a women being not sexy or ulgy. Men cheat because they can not handle the pressures and stress of everyday life. Cheating is a way to numb or hide from whats really going on. This is why, when a man says, it didn’t mean anything, they really mean just that.
We women believe we have to make our selves into to skinny models. The more we become a model means true love, the princess thing. The only people that benefit from all the make up, clothing, diet pills, gym, beauty shops is the manufactures who make these items. Women, we must first find our worth before taking on a relationship. Once you find your worth, then no one can make you feel unworthy or insecure about one self.
I am not writing this from a hater of men or a person who has all the answers. But I do believe that we women are going in the wrong direction in dealing with men. Don’t let what you believe is love destroy you. It has always been my belief that the is a soul mate for everyone. As I find myself getting older, I still believe it and refuse to settle for anything else. Believe me, it harder not to settle, but in the long run, you’ll be much happier.
Stay strong my fellow women.
September 22nd, 2008 at 3:36 am
I unfortunately share Rachel’s view. I realize what you say in the article is true, but I am not sure it is worth wasting ourselves over men. “The great man” waiting for all of us you descirbe does not seem to exist, at least not in the emisphere where I live.
I my experience, men make you feel desirable (bot sexually or as a person) only when you meet a series of physycal, external parameters.
I am sorry to be bitter on this subject, as I would love to share your views, which I realize are much more healthier. But men are cheaters, and the only thing that matters to them is the way a woman looks, not the way she is. Give them a very intelligent, sensitive but nameless faceless girl on one side and a Nicole Kidman’s lookalike bimbo on the other, and they will always pick the second.
To men, women are jewels to be shown to their friends to impress them, nothing more