Girls Guide to Dating » 2008» August

Archive for August, 2008

Eliminate Expenses, Not Romance!

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Hello there my Fabulous Females! I know we all want to be money conscious, yet not have to sacrifice the quality of our dates to save a few dollars. So, here is a little list I put together to inspire you to think creatively when planning budget smart dates! After all, when you really like someone money doesn’t make or break the date;-)

1. Make sandwiches and snacks with your date and then set up a picnic in the park.

2. Look for specials at your local Art Museums & Galleries as often times they will have free events or donation based exhibits.

3. Head to the beach. (trust me, it’ll be fun rubbing sun block all over your sweetie’s muscles, not to mention seeing him without his shirt on!)

4. Look for local street fairs or carnivals. It’ll bring out the kid in both of you!

5. You don’t have to go to Broadway to see great theater. Check out local plays, music gigs, and stand-up comics.

6. Go hiking, enjoy nature. This will show you can be an outdoorsy girl and men love that! Later down the line, try camping out!

7. Find out what cultural activities are happening in your city (outdoor movie night, free concerts, dancing)

8. Get Active (bowling, bike riding, roller blading, jogging, tennis, volleyball). This will give you a chance to see each other’s competitive side! Come up with a special treat for the winner.

9. Cook dinner at home. Yes, this is basic, but cooking together and lighting some candles is always a sure fire hit! You can also enjoy more intimate conversations this way as you won’t have to worry about the table next to you listening in.

10. Game night!! This can be paired with dinner at home, but this enables friends to join in. Organize a group of people to play Spades, Celebrity, Taboo, or any other number of fun and energizing group games.

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Going Back On A Breakup

Monday, August 18th, 2008

Hello Lovely Ladies!

Most women, no matter how incredibly beautiful and intelligent they are, have been dumped by a man and forced to endure the heartache of a breakup. Some breakups are mutual, some are quick and clean, some are terribly messy, and some are temporary. Sometimes, after you’ve successfully erased this silly man from your life, he calls or emails you, or “coincidentally” runs into you right outside of your apartment building, and he claims that he’s messed up royally and really wants you back. So, now what do you do? Well, no worries, I am here to help you determine whether you should entertain the notion of taking him back, or if this relationship should stay broken.

The first thing to take into account is how the breakup went down. This will tell you an incredible amount about his character. If the breakup came out of nowhere, with no explanation, and he has been M.I.A. for the last several months, then you can only assume he will enforce the same mysterious, closed-off type of behavior in other areas of the relationship down the line. Don’t you want a man who has amazing communication skills so that you will always know right where you stand even if the news is bad news? Don’t waste your light on a man who keeps you in the dark! On the other hand, if your ex had the courtesy to tell you face to face that he needs space, has been forthcoming about the fact that he isn’t sure what he wants, and has continued to show you respect during your time apart, then I would consider his reappearance in your life as he has shown you the respect of honesty and updated communication.

The next item to take into account is will things be different this time around? Whatever wasn’t working in the past that caused this split in the first place needs to be identified. This is where I believe silence is golden (on your part). First, let him tell you what he has learned during your time apart, how he has changed, and how he sees the future of your relationship. You were the one who was dumped, so there is no shame in letting him plead his case a little bit. Once he is wearing his heart on his sleeve, you both need to have an open and honest conversation about how you would work together to fix the weak spots, if and only if, you are moved by his speech. Yet, if after all your time apart he shows up on your doorstep having learned nothing, stating generic post-breakup banter such as, “oh, baby, I want you back” or “I just can’t live without you”, then you are far better off finding a man who isn’t so clueless and actually learns from his mistakes.

Lastly, and most importantly, think about what you want. He has been out of your life for awhile now. What things are better? What things seem worse? What did he add to your life? What did he keep you from achieving? You’ve now had a chance to date other people or at least meet other people. Are you enjoying the single life, the ability to explore new sides of yourself with new people? You’ve also had a chance to enjoy having some you time. Perhaps you just want to focus on your own needs right now and not have to compromise for another person. Finally, you have had time to remove yourself emotionally from him in order to look at the relationship with a little more clarity. So, my advice, whatever he has to say, whatever you are feeling and thinking, take a day or two to really think about it. This is your love-life, it is incredibly valuable, there is no need to rush into anything. Just remember that it is better to be alone and happy with yourself, than it is to settle for someone and dislike who you are because of it. Whatever you decide, Juliette is here to support you!

Tags: Break Ups
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Cheaters and Players and Dogs, Oh My!

Friday, August 15th, 2008

Hello there Ladies!

Okay, so we all know love is blind, and I know denial may seem like the less painful route, but let me tell you, if you find out your man is cheating, DO NOT stick around and cheat yourself! A little while ago, I received an email from a woman whose man had been playing her in the worst possible way, sleeping with several different women, calling lots of girls his girlfriend, and get this, he even had a WIFE! Wow! How do men like this go to sleep at night?! They better be sleeping with one eye open is all I have to say! But for the moment, let’s not focus on them. Let’s focus on a much more important factor, YOU. My advice to this anonymous woman and to all of my other lovely Ladies out there, demand the best out of this world. Demand it from all of your relationships, from your career, from yourself, and from every other aspect of your life. Life truly is what you make of it, and so are your relationships. So do not waste a minute of your precious time on a man who doesn’t know your value or respect your worth. Yes, people make mistakes, and I have seen couples bounce back from infidelity and be stronger for it. So, I realize this isn’t a black and white issue in every case. If your man “messed up” and is begging that you take him back, just realize that the power is in your hands. Is this man standing before you really going to step it up and be the man you need him to be? I don’t know. You are the judge and the jury on this one, so examine the facts. Notice I said facts, not emotions. Sometimes you really have to separate your head from your heart to make the clearest decision. Think about it, did he admit his mistake to you and apologize, or did you just find out on your own? If he didn’t come clean on his own, who knows what other dirty little secrets he may have. Also, is this just another let down by him? Is he always saying sorry for some huge mistake he made? Ladies listen, I know when you are in love you put on your rose tinted glasses and you try to see the glass as being half full. I get that, I do, just make sure your man isn’t full of it. If you do decide to give him another chance, keep your wits about you and make sure he is devoted to rebuilding trust. Sure, a lot of guys are happy to say they’re sorry, but they don’t want to put in the work it takes to actually heal a broken situation. If you decide to leave his sorry butt behind, trust that you are an incredible woman who will find a Gentleman to cherish you, not cheat on you.

Posted in Break Ups, Dating, Relationships | 5 Comments »

How To Be A Fabulous Flirt!

Wednesday, August 13th, 2008

Hello Lovely Ladies!

We’ve all been there, you look across the crowded room and there he is, an incredible hottie that has caught your attention. You go over to him, you strike up a conversation, and then what? How do you show you are interested in him through the art of flirtation? Not to worry, my sexy little list of flirting favorites are sure to win him over!

1.) Own what you look like in the moment. Now, the sad truth is, sometimes we run into the man of our dreams when we are not wearing our dreamiest outfit. I assure you, no matter what you are wearing, if you own it, he will notice. Confidence is key in this situation, so just remember how foxy you are and work it!

2.) Don’t overdo it. The very last vibe you want to get across to a man is one of desperation. Play it cool. After all, he is lucky a hottie like you is talking to him, so there is no reason to try too hard. Be sure to go easy on the makeup, the clothing, and the compliments. Just treat this like any other conversation. Be cool, calm and collected. Yes you want him to pick up on your interest in him, but you don’t want to overwhelm him with your excitement either. A tiny hint of mystery will balance everything out.

3.) Smile. Okay, this may seem like a tip from Captain Obvious, but you’d be surprised how nerves get the better of you, and even the perkiest girl can forget to show her pearly whites. Or some women get so caught up in “looking sexy” that they attempt to make “seductive” faces, forgetting that a genuine smile is the biggest seducer of all. If men can tell that you enjoy life and that you are approachable, they immediately feel at ease with you.

4.) Compliment Him. Before initiating the flirting, take a moment to notice something nice about him, what he is wearing, the book he is reading, etc. If you already know him or have met him at least once before, your compliments can be more creative. The biggest rule with compliments is making sure they are sincere. Don’t just say something generic to say something. Keep it friendly, keep it sincere, and keep it unique.

5.) Work the eyes. Look at him until he feels the weight of your stare, then look away, and finally, check back in. If he is still looking, give a little smile. Extended eye contact immediately shows interest, but don’t be weird about it. A little wink, some eyelash batting, and a few coy looks over your shoulder will be sure to peek his curiosity.

6.) The Magic Touch. As you are talking with him, be sure to casually touch him a few times. It’s easy to touch someone’s hand as you are making a point, or feel his shirt just slightly as you tell him what great taste he has. The point is, look for reasons to literally reach out to him. You want to immediatley establish some degree of physicality between you. Even though these touches are purely innocent, they will still make a solid statement to him that you are comfortable with physical contact.

There you have it Ladies! Now, go get him!

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Archive for August, 2008

Eliminate Expenses, Not Romance!

Going Back On A Breakup

Cheaters and Players and Dogs, Oh My!

How To Be A Fabulous Flirt!