Hello Ladies!

Okay, now I don’t want to overwhelm you, or rather, overheat you with hot man after hot man, but I was just visiting the west coast and I spotted yet another sexy single! This California boy, Trey, was nice enough to stop and grab some Thai food with me and let me peek into his mind. Here is a little bit of our conversation…

Juliette:  Trey, as a talented musician and director, you must meet desirable and beautiful women all the time. What do you find attractive in a Los Angeles woman?

Trey: There’s nothing more attractive than confidence.  If I see a woman who knows she’s lovely and talented and wonderful, she’s on my radar!  I
love a go-getter attitude, someone who’s really driven and independent
and doesn’t wait for someone else to do it for her.  If something
needs to be done, she does it…if something needs to be fixed, she
fixes it.  I don’t want a woman who NEEDS me, I want a woman who WANTS
me!  That just means I like a woman who can get along just fine
without me, but together, we enhance one another. I also like a woman
who likes to cultivate herself.  Sure, it’s fine to watch some reality
tv once in a while, but you also have to be able to go to the symphony
every now and then and take in museum or two.

Juliette: Let me just say Trey, it is so refreshing to hear a man list off inner qualities rather then outer beauty, especially from a man living in Hollywood! Living in such a big city, there must be a lot of women who rub you the wrong way too. So, what is a major turn off for you with women?

Trey: Confidence is sexy, but arrogance is not!  And ignorance may be bliss,
but it’s not hot!  Stay informed, stay educated- If you don’t know
what’s going on in the real world, or you just don’t care, that tells
me the waters don’t run very deep with you.  Also…and this may be a
little funny, but I get really annoyed when people throw away things
that could be recycled.  That’s just lazy- and laziness is definitely
not sexy!

Juliette: Education! Recycling! Again, Trey, refreshing and unique answers! I’m so excited to hear what your idea of a perfect date would be?

Trey: I enjoy the simple things in life.  My perfect date would probably
start with a picnic with peanut butter sandwiches, crackers and
cheese, and cheap wine.  Watch the sunset, watch the stars come up,
and then go get milkshakes and watch a movie.

Juliette: That sounds so fun and laid back! If I wasn’t all the way on the east coast, I’d take you up on that milkshake and movie! Thanks for your time Trey and I hope you find yourself a Hollywood Hottie who recycles, thinks and has a healthy dose of confidence!

Hello there Ladies!

I recently met a woman named Rachel who is going through a bit of a romantic tragedy, and she is now on the verge of becoming…bitter. I want to delve into her story because at some point we all must choose, after having our heart broken, to pursue love again or to allow our hearts to become hardened. Now, Rachel’s story…
After being in a tumultuous long-term relationship, in which her boyfriend consistently made her feel sexually undesirable, Rachel was cheated on. Although, he made half-hearted attempts to get her back, Rachel chose to end it. I applaud this brave move to get out of an unhealthy situation, but I am still concerned as Rachel told me, “I won’t be dating again. Ever. I don’t believe in love anymore”. Girl, believe me, I understand that sentiment, but please do not give your ex that much control over your happiness. And Rachel, you create your own happiness. So, if you decide to harden your heart, unfortunately you will never find the elation you deserve. You have every right to be angry right now and it is important that you feel your way through this phase, but make sure it is just a phase. Then, when you are ready, forgive him and release him. Trust me, if you decide to handle this heartache in a healthy and optimistic way, your life will be so much richer. Imagine the great man that can finally come into your life now that you’ve got Mr. Wrong out of the way!

In the meantime, surround yourself with a good support system, avoid the rebound rut, embrace this time of reflection and contemplation, and enjoy some YOU time. Then, as your heart heals, get out there again, go on dates, mingle, and open up your heart to love again. Take comfort in the fact that everyone goes through breakups, everyone questions whether they will ever find love again, but the ones who maintain a hopeful heart will find the happy ending!

Hello there Ladies!

Here’s a little tough love from yours truly. Don’t take it personally, I know you’re all fabulous, but come on, we all make the occasional faux pas in the presence of a hottie. So, let’s all learn from our embarrassing blunders by getting real about them. Here are the top 4 mistakes women make with men…

Blunder #1: Hoping He’ll Reach His Full “Potential”

Ladies, this may be the biggest trap we women fall into when it comes to men. We have big hearts, so we often see the best in our guy and ignore the not-so-desirable traits. We want to believe that he will eventually reach his highest potential. We keep our fingers crossed that one day he will stop being scared and interview for that job we know he’s perfect for, that he’ll keep his word and call when he said he would, that he will remember an anniversary gift this year, or that he will stop bar hopping every night of the week. Well, optimism is a wonderful quality to possess, but unfortunately, not all men do reach their full potential. Waiting around for them to ascend into greatness can often leave us in a great deal of pain and disappointment. Granted, I definitely believe in being patient, in making healthy compromises, and in giving people time to grow; however, be certain that you aren’t simply settling in hopes that he will change. It’s far better (and much more realistic) to look at who he currently is and ask yourself “could I be with this man if he never changes?” Truth be told, some people change, and some people, regrettably, never do. Relationships should always be balanced allowing both of you to adapt equally. If one person is always falling short and one person is always dissatisfied, that is not a healthy balance. Yes, having a connection with someone is immensely valuable, but you don’t have to sacrifice compatibility for sparks. Decide what your deal-breakers are and believe you can have it all!

Blunder #2: Pretending To Be Something You Are Not To Please Him

This goes hand in hand with Blunder # 1, only the roles are reversed. In any relationship, if who the person is is not enough, than it’s time to reevaluate. Yes, it’s normal to scope out what your man’s likes and dislikes are, and then try to relate to him accordingly. However, be aware of when you start to lose yourself in an attempt to be what he wants. Especially be weary of any man who puts pressure on you to act in a way that feels phony to you. He should be dating you because he likes what you have to offer, naturally. You are not there to fill his ex-girlfriend’s shoes or be his fantasy brought to life. You are there to be his partner, to compliment him, and it is his role to encourage you to be the woman that you are. Just note the difference between being challenged and being changed. Always be true to who you are because you are more than enough!

Blunder #3: Revealing Your Feelings Too Soon

Patience truly is a virtue worth possessing. Now, I know that when you finally meet someone who is actual boyfriend material and not just a man-of-the-moment, there is a strong temptation to spill every last bean about what’s going on in your heart and mind. Well, call up your girlfriends and gab your face off, but do not jump the gun with him! I am not advocating lying or withholding emotions. I am simply saying to let the relationship have a chance to develop before you divulge precious pieces of your heart. Trust me, you could connect over coffee with a man on first date, confidently call your mom to tell her he’s the one, and then on your 2^nd date he shows up wearing socks with his sandals and proudly sporting a Hawaiian shirt leaving you questioning what you ever saw in him. Are you picking up what I’m putting down? It takes time to really know a person, so don’t rush the revelation.

Blunder # 4: Relying On A Man To Make You Happy

Time and time again I hear women say, “I was out there doing my own thing, focusing on my career and discovering what really makes me happy, and then when I wasn’t even looking for it…love found me”. It really is true, when we concentrate on fulfilling ourselves, on being content with what we can provide in our own lives, often times that is when romance decides to waltz unexpectedly into our world. A good man is there to enhance all that you’ve already got going on, not to be your sole source of elation. Focus your energy on enjoying life, on fully realizing the woman that you are inside, and then simply allow love to compliment you, not complete you.

Of course Ladies, we know the full list of silly slip-ups would probably be a mile long, so I could only hone in on the most important blunders. Yet, it should give you some comfort to know that men have their own list of mess-ups with women, and trust me, our list is shorter;-) Be sure to write in at juliette@girlsguidetodating.com and tell me what mistakes you think women need to avoid when braving the dating world!

Hello Ladies!
Not only do I have an inspiring romance to tell you about, but I also have some amazing date venues to check out in NYC! I recently met an adorable couple, Kari and Gareth, who were happy to share their story and their love of music. Over a year ago, they met at a music gig and have been happily together ever since. “Gareth and I were flirting and having fun when I fell forward off the stool and onto another stool. I can’t believe he hung out with me after that!” Kari told me. “The best date Gareth took me on was to see Mates of State (my favorite band)”. After hitting it off as a couple, Kari and Gareth decided to heat things up musically. They formed their own band Smart Set. Check them out at http://www.myspace.com/thesmartset. Being the nightlife gurus that they are, they gave me several great locations around the city to meet sexy singles.

First up is the ultra-intimate Knitting Factory (www.knittingfactory.com). It’s a great date environment and a great place to mingle because it’s fairly dark and is sectioned off into smaller rooms. This way you always have a great view of the bands and a romantic atmosphere to meet people. Knitting Factory has awesome musical guests and a bar with delicious drinks. The next venue they highly recommended is the Blender Theater. Upcoming bands include Finger Eleven, IAMX, Pretty Ricky, and many more. Blender is a really cool venue because it always has great entertainment, features bars on either side so you never have to wait long for drinks, and is located in the heart of Manhattan where sexy singles are sure to frequent. There’s also a bar downstairs to sneak off to and share a more intimate conversation. Last, but definitely not least, is The Slipper Room (www.slipperroom.com). It’s a small bar, with sexy lighting, and various types of entertainment, including Burlesque shows, book readings, live music, comedy and theater.

So Ladies, here is the formula for dating success, good music + tasty cocktails + dim lighting = a love connection for sexy singles everywhere. So, be sure to visit these venues as you explore New York City nightlife. Even if you are not a New Yorker, concert halls and music lounges are fairly easy to scout out. So, go enjoy a night on the town and find yourself a hottie to make sweet music with! And don’t forget to write in and tell me all about your dating successes. You just might find your inspiring story of romance posted next;-)